Blue balls and the GOP

The thing that has amazed me most since Barack Obama took office is just how completely and irretrievably unglued the GOP has become. Ever unwilling to let go of a bad idea, not only have they continued clinging to the same “socialism” diatribe that failed to help the McCain/Palin ticket, but have since decorated it with not-so-subtle themes of racism and thinly-veiled threats of violence.

They possess the kind of psychosis that reminds me of a phenomenon I used to see back in high school and college. I’m talking about how when, by some kind of fluke or luck or whatever, some kid would start dating a girl who’s hotter than anything he ever imagined he could get in his life. He can’t believe his luck. He’s star struck. He wonders if he could actually have a chance of getting a piece so sweet that he can barely even imagine it if he tried. He can’t wait to get his hands on her – and boy does he have a good time once he does.

He hits first base after a couple dates. Two weeks later, it’s second, and he’s simply beside himself. Then, one day, she lets him get further than he ever has before. Just as he rounds third base and is heading for home, she freaks out, buttons up, and runs home. She calls him the next day and breaks up with him. The young man is stunned, panicked and distraught. After a period of begging and pleading – after the phone messages and love letters – the poor boy simply snaps. And that’s when the real stalking begins.

This is where conservatives are right now.

I know. I know. A lot of you are thinking I that I must have a short memory – that the GOP definitely hit a home run with the good ole’ US of A. To you I say, wait until you see what happens if the GOP gains power again anytime soon. I mean, this is the same GOP who thinks that Bush was a failure, sure, but a failure not because he ran us off a conservative cliff, but because he wasn’t conservative enough. Witness the fact that Dick Cheney recently said that Bush “wussed out” on him. No, they were just getting warmed up.

The GOP merely got a taste of what it was they truly wanted. They were so close they could taste it. They could see it, smell it; they had it wrapped around their finger. And then it slipped away. Now the GOP has the worst case of blue balls you’ve ever seen.

Like that poor jilted kid who climbs the tree outside his girlfriend’s bedroom window in the middle of the night, conservatives are scrambling to change minds, and in the process are getting creepier and creepier by the day.

In that cases like this, sane friends usually try to intervene and say things like “there are other fish in the sea”, and moderate Republicans are feeling a little bit queasy right about now. But to the broken hearted, these sensible friends are an annoyance and seem like the enemy. No, it usually takes an encounter with the law, or even daddy, to put an end to it all.

So where does it end? That’s a good question. In the case of the lucky young man who almost got, well, really lucky, there are few other things that can reduce an otherwise civilized and reasonable person to a sniveling pile of rubble. Few things, save for perhaps revenge, can so easily drive someone to do things without thinking or considering the consequences. And that’s what’s most dangerous. Prisons are full of people who acted on their emotions at the time without thinking first or considering the consequences. So, my point here is not to simply ridicule, but to point out just how dangerous the situation has really become. True, what we’ve been getting from the crazies lately is mostly talk – well, shouting, really – but there are most certainly at least a few of them out there who are whipped enough to do something really stupid.

 

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